I clearly remember that call from my angry teenage lover to my Dad. I’ll call him Carlos :D
Carlos told my father he’d like to meet him and my elder sister the next morning at the society gate. I knew what it was about. I couldn’t sleep all night. I just grabbed my grandmother tightly and lay next to her - my mind blank, imagining the worse. I woke up twice to puke out of unbearable anxiety.
The next morning it happened exactly as I had predicted. Carlos told my father I had left him. Forget leaving him, my father now knew - I had a boyfriend!
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Card given by Carlos was somewhat like this...:)
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Carlos also gave my father all the cards, gifts and one love letter I had given him. I had returned the gifts Carlos had given me back to him. He gave my Dad those too. That was my first tryst with the “World Shattering around Me” :D
My Dad on returning home, took me to a separate room to talk to me. My mind was blank and I was fainting. All he said was - “I trust you.”
I was like - have I heard it properly? He didn’t say anything else and asked me to go back to whatever I was doing. I didn’t know what to do next. I had prepared my sorries, my crying, my pleadings. He had forgiven me without my sorry. That was my first big lesson in trust and forgiving.
((More about Carlos in the end :))
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Dad <3 font="">
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Of course that was not the first time my dad had forgiven. He has forever been forgiving. When he scolded us for our mistakes, the next morning he made sure to say sorry to us. And if we ever cried due to his scolding, he definitely would have tears while saying sorry. There are so many stories of his blind generosity , forgiveness and love that I can end up writing a novel on it. He tried to make every relationship of uncles and aunties and faraway unlces and aunties and friends and friends of friends work.
That is the reason, I have always tried to make my relationships work. Even death never does us apart.
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Hubby who is now hugging me from heaven :)
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Another thing is I love people. So I never remember getting angry with anyone.
And the times when I find it hard to understand them, I take my time and become ‘them’.
If it’s a male I become a male and live his childhood, I imagine myself being the child of his parents, I live his college life and I live his present life. And then how can I not understand why he did what he did? I also understand murderers.
And when you yourself become that person, where’s the question of forgiving? You only have yourself to forgive. So I forgive myself for not being able to forgive this person earlier.
If I meet a 50 people a day, I live the lives of those 50 people a day. That connects us.
Having said all this, the only person I couldn't forgive easily was my 16 year old boyfriend for giving those letters to my Dad. However when Harshad passed away (physically), I understood what it is to see your love gone. So for the first time I messaged Carlos a sorry for leaving him then. He laughed and asked me who apologizes for Puppy Love? I said, me. ;)
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